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Sunday, December 22, 2024
Merry New Year, Wonderfuls!
Friday, December 6, 2024
Remotely Attempting To Ruin Your Life
Beware the hackers, Y'all!
If you apply for one position and you get an email saying that it's closed, but there's another position you would be perfect for, CALL THE COMPANY directly and ask to speak to the email sender or whomever they mention by name in the email.
The emails are usually in a very basic font (sans serif, etc.), may or may not have additional contact information, and tend to copy and paste the "about" section of the company's website.
I was lucky not to have given up any personal information that wasn't public knowledge, but I did turn down two other offers, thinking I had secured employment. The attachments I was sent to secure my position were on company letterhead.
However, one of them was another scam, and the letters, after comparison, were very similar minus the names and company information.
Some company somewhere is actually hiring for remote workers, but it sure wasn't either of them. When I returned to my 'applied' in the 'my jobs' section and attempted to return to them, the listings were also missing.
I'm so discouraged by the amount of lying, scamming, and hacking I've found since applying on LinkedIn and Indeed. My phone is on permanent 'do not disturb' with certain numbers allowed around the DND.
Sunday, December 1, 2024
Texas Trash Pie Recipe
HAPPY HOLIDAY'S, WONDERFULS!
Wednesday, November 27, 2024
Nacho Sancho Lives
Hello Wonderfuls!
I've resurrected my Nacho Sancho product line from the now defunct AZieTee shop that I had a while ago (before I started this blog).
I've got a new Etsy Store and after popular local demand, I've brought back the Nacho Sancho line!
It's fun, it's catchy, it makes a great gift for the guy you don't know what to buy for, and it's definitely going to get a chuckle!
Moreover, I've made sure everything is ALWAYS FREE SHIPPING which is nice for every online shopper!
And last, but not least, I'm running a Black Friday - Cyber Monday sale with 20% off the entire product line.
The above picture is a 60x80 throw blanket.
Also available are tee shirtslast but not least, sweatshirts, pants, mugs, glasses, phone cases, and more!
I pray everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season!
Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all! Let the shopping begin!
PS. Growing Prayerfully - A Little Book About Praying Big also makes a great gift for any and everyone! *winkbigcheesysmilewink*
Sunday, November 10, 2024
Dear Tracy
*This is one of the rare posts that includes cussing; fair warning*
Good morning and happy Sunday, Y'all!
I would think that the time between posts lets you know how things have been going.
Chaotic.
School is about to start for me, my kiddo is already rocking the standard M-F of senior year (which means that I am as well), and I had to apply for some temporary aid from the state, so Texas requires 35 hours of verified job searches per week (even if you get hired!) until you are removed from aid, which can take up to 60 days (8 weeks of those requirements being met!) to be removed from should I sit on hold for an hour and request to be removed.
With everything I have going on, I'm going to say here and now, that I will probably only be posting on Sundays for a while, but at least I'll be back to posting!
And buried inside the timeline of all that personal life chaos, there was the country's chaos of the election to end all elections; and several relationships from what I've seen on social media.
I have only blocked one person due to their political beliefs, and it's not why anyone, including that person, if she knows yet, would think.
I will come out now, regardless of what hot water I may wind up in later, I am a virulent ANTI-Trump woman. I am not a Kamala lover nor did I vote for her because she is a woman; all politicians are flawed and of the two, she had my vote less for being her and more for Not Being Trump.
I grew up in NJ and have known about Trump and his ignorant arrogance since before his first Pizza Hut commercial with Ivanna. I remember dealings in Atlantic City and before The Art of The Deal. The face, the stance, the lies, the greed.
I am personally related to a former Masonic big wig who had business meetings with DJT as part of the Shriners on behalf of a fundraiser for their children's hospitals. They were turned down because they asked for a discount on the facility which could have been used as a charitable donation at tax time for Trump.
Lose money to help children in need? Fuck No! Not Trump.
There is no kindness in his soul along with manyManyMANY other character and belief flaws he possesses.
I personally believe that this country is so completely fucked behind the choice of this man that I, for the first time in 53 years of life, found myself crying in the car on Wednesday morning over the outcome of the election.
As a person who was born with a vagina and can see the long game coming, I can only hope that we can undo what this joker is about to do. Which may not even be possible after he removes more women's rights to keep them from fighting back.
It's a lot. My mind is playing out scenarios both best and worse case and even the best cases are mostly horrible.
I have been everywhere that I'm on social media with #trumpisascumbag and I hope it catches on, because it's the core of where this country is about to go.
Now, as much as I'm willing to die on this hill, my one blocked friend, Tracy, is as outspoken in her commitment to the Trump side of things.
Before this election, I would say that Tracy is a kind person. She and her husband are good people. Her daughter has been raised to be a good person. We aren't especially close, but I always enjoyed her, and her friendship. I've known her since 1987. And when I released my book, she was one of the first people to buy one and write just the most wonderful message to me of encouragement. My accomplishment brought her joy. Her joy has always brought me joy.
And she voted for Trump.
Which, as a woman, I almost feel is worse than a man voting for Trump.
A betrayal from within the sisterhood.
And all I can think, because of my prior knowledge of Tracy as a person, is that she has been manipulated into believing a lie.
IDK what the viewpoint is that specifically has garnered her allegiance to that side, but I do know that the compassionate, caring, and genuinely kind person that I have known for over thirty years cannot possibly believe in that man without having been lied to; because otherwise she'd be shouting about women's rights from the mountaintops.
But she voted for Trump.
All I can say to Tracy, and every other female follower of and about Trump: My Wonderful, please scratch the lies. Do some deeper research into your hot-button topic that caused your belief in Trump, whatever that issue may be. Please, please do more research.
Economy? The only presidents that benefit from the economic plan of their first term are the ones that are elected to a second consecutive term. Do you know what that means in real world terms? Trump's 'better economy' of 2016 was because of the framework Obama set up. And how's this for you; Biden's fucked economy was due to Trump's policies because that's who controlled the previous 4 years. When the economy improves in the next 4 years, you're going to have to go thank Joe.
OUCH!
Oh, was it abortion? Well, Ladies, you have every right to be opposed to abortion. It's your body, please do with it as you wish - just like any man does.
Here's the problem with making your opposition the law of the land: women not being able to do what they wish with their own bodies lowers us to second-class citizenship. Men are autonomous, but women are not. If you don't agree with abortion, don't get one and teach those around you why you disagree with it. But forcing anyone to give birth for reasons that are not their own is forced compliance.
Forced compliance is slavery.
Let's carry this on down. No abortion. Some women will simply die. Not a euphemism, fact. Then you have the children who will go into the system when they're abandoned, or raised by the mother that never wanted them and abuses or neglects them. Then there's the children themselves that now have all sorts of mental and possibly physical issues due to being raised in those environments.
How is no one looking at what this is going to do to the system, the American population, and the populace itself?
And now Trump is talking about making porn illegal. Porn is not my thing, but I can tell you, as a society that has become used to having porn, what removing it will do. The eventual outcome is a rise in the national rape rate.
Yeah, you heard me. The number of rapes will increase without that porn outlet.
And, abortion is illegal.
Are you seeing it now? Fucking disaster AND women will bear the brunt of the decision. More stress on the system; crime numbers up, ER numbers up, mental health issues up, police numbers down; can't keep up with it all.
OUCH.
But maybe it was something else. Some other issue.
Regardless, I cannot have this conversation with my blocked friend, Tracy.
She's not pro Trump, she PRO TRUMP.
I'm not anti Trump, I'm ANTI TRUMP.
So, this may surprise you, but the reason that I blocked Tracy is because I love her.
I love the Tracy that I've known for *ahemwearenotthatoldahem* years. And I am quite certain that one of us will post something that will most likely offend each other. Posts are indefinitely readable, after all.
Now, would I happily go to lunch or hang out with Tracy if we both agreed to lay down any political conversation while we were together? Absolutely. I'd love to.
But until then, or for the next probably 4-5 years (assuming Trump will leave office when he gets his dictatorial ass in there; he did say there would be no election in 2028, didn't he?) I will keep Tracy blocked for the sake of our friendship.
During this time, I will send her all the love and light that I would have normally. I will think of her fondly and defend her to anyone that dares speak ill of her to me (no one ever has, but in such a case). For now, I will love her from afar.
And should she ever scratch that lie and find the inevitable thief, I will wipe her tears of heartbreak and hug her into the sisterhood once again with compassion and forgiveness. For who of us hasn't believed a lie at some point in our lives?
Dear Tracy,
I blocked you on social media because I love you!
I'll see you on the other side my friend.
#trumpisascumbag
Love,
Aria
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
When God Brings You To It, Wonderfuls
Tuesday, October 1, 2024
Madge, I Think I Need More Than A Manicure
Saturday, September 28, 2024
Saturday Coffee With Rip
Friday, September 27, 2024
Farewell Maggie
I'm beginning to realize that I cannot take a 'mental health day break' from writing.
It seems that when I do, my writing will eek out into mini novellas on social media reposts or, as in the case of today's post, I'll plan a post and then when I write it, it goes off the rails into a direction that I wasn't expecting.
Like all of the different issues flying around in my head seem to become relevant to things they shouldn't be, and find their way into unrelated post themes.
Today, I started writing about 70's advertising due to talking to MyMan about products we remember from our childhoods. Bayer Aspirin in the metal box. Colgate toothpaste in the metal tube. Noxzema in the blue glass tub.
A few days ago, someone posted an old ad for Underoos, and by the time I finished writing and was ready to start editing, I had segued from Wonder Woman all the way into the loss of women's rights in today's society after making pit stops at Bratz dolls, perception due to appearance, and Roe V Wade.
So much for a fun, throwback, GenX love post.
Plans changed, clearly. Maybe I can talk Madge into a manicure and try again tomorrow.
Before I was sent off the rails of Madison Avenue's machinations, I was notified that Maggie Smith died.
So maybe it went off the rails so I could write this post instead.
Maggie Smith has been in my life since I was five years old.
The picture above is from a movie named Murder By Death that was released in 1976. My parents went to the drive in theater in Union, NJ to watch it. Their two children, aged five and one, were in the back seat. I was the five year old.
It was also so long ago that car seats weren't a thing. I have no idea where my infant sister was, but I was dead center of the back seat watching the movie with rapt attention. Every few minutes my mother would look over her shoulder expecting to find me asleep, but not a chance. I was awake as awake gets and paying full attention.
In the evening gown above, with her English accent, and regal demeanor; Maggie was my first 'Movie Star'. Other people heard movie star and thought Marilyn Monroe and Liz Taylor. I thought Maggie.
In the many years since, no matter where I found her, she was always my Movie Star. She even managed to be one when she was wearing a wimple and correcting Whoopi Goldberg as a nun. Twice.
I don't know many people who didn't want a Hogwarts letter, but the biggest part of my wanting to get my letter was the possibility of running across Maggie's Professor McGonagall with her feisty, protective, and always upright self.
Her crown may have been invisible, but it was always there.
Ms. Maggie,
Thank you, Ma'am. *curtsey*
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Update on Growing Prayerfully
Happy Tuesday, Wonderfuls!
I wanted everyone to be aware that I've been getting amazing feedback on Growing Prayerfully - A Little Book About Praying Big from everyone.
Y'all are so kind thank you!!!
But, I need to unpublish the paperback for a moment in order to update the ISBN so I can expand my distribution.
The process requires that I unpublish it momentarily and then republish, so if you went looking and weren't able to buy it, it will be back shortly!
Please try again shortly, and I will post here as soon as it goes back live; I'm shooting for Friday, September 27, 2024, but I don't have confirmation of that date yet.
Thank you again everyone for all of your interest and kind feedback! And just a reminder, if you would please, please, please go over to Amazon, or your retailer if it wasn't a gifted copy, and give it whatever you feel is an appropriate number of stars (and a review if you're feeling froggy!), again please, and again thank you.
Apparently reviews are difficult to get and as a first-time author, they're critical.
Love and Prayers to you all!
Aria
Tuesday, September 17, 2024
Schedules and ISH-ness
I woke up this morning reminded of a documentary about Ernest Hemingway.
Apparently, no matter how hard he went the day and night before, when he was working on a story, Big Papa always wrote from first light until roughly noon.
I was not given either the ability to forgo sleep for drinking and carousing, nor gifted with a natural proclivity for getting up at the crack of dawn.
Once upon a historical time, everyone's internal clocks were governed by daylight. It was (largely) the only light there was. But since the 1880's humans have had electric lighting.
Hemingway was born in 1899; he was still on the original sun up clock. By today's standards, the need of sunlight for lighting is a moot point and society has been altered by changes to the internal clocks of people.
I am one of those people. My internal clock has been off, according to the world, for my entire existence. I was one of those kids that just couldn't get it together for the school schedule. I had insomnia in middle school.
Maybe it was inherited, but I think the real, however unspoken, culprit of insomnia is trying to fit a non-standard internal clock into a standard daytime schedule.
Supposedly shift work is detrimental. And I don't doubt that it is for people pulling second or third shift that have internal clocks set to first shift hours. However, I would bet that there are also a fair number of people working first shift that are fighting the detrimental effects on their internal clocks of conforming to that shift.
If they would offer not-shift-work jobs on shift-work schedules, I bet there would be some very happy, not to mention mentally sharper people in the world.
In my early professional years, I was all about shift work. Second shift is 2-10ish pm and was perfect for someone with my internal clock. I could get up when I wanted, and make it to work with plenty of time. I could handle any personal business outside of work hours, and at the end of the shift, there was still plenty of time to socialize. It fit me and my natural internal timing well. I rocked second shift like nobody's business. Two problems with second shift though; first there's no consistency to the scheduling in those positions. My work days would change every week. I never knew how much my checks were going to be because I didn't know how many hours I was getting each week. The second problem with second shift, is the bigger the boss, the earlier his or her shift.
Regardless of the company or the department, as I graduated to better positions, they all required a 'first shift' schedule of 9ish to 5ish.
There were things I really liked about these jobs, but the schedule was never one.
I was exhausted when the alarm would blare me awake. I was awake when it was time to go to bed. My brain didn't want to kick into gear until after lunch, but I was also exhausted because my sleep wasn't right so I would alternate between brilliantly sharp, and napping at my desk. I always had to take time off to handle any personal business. If I went out to lunch it was with every other day worker - fighting for their space and time in the drive-thru. And last, but not least, I was always stressed because everything about me was out of time with how my system wanted to run naturally.
I conformed. I went and did on everyone else's timeline. Just like most adults, you simply do whatever you need to do, right? Fold yourself to fit whatever box is going to help you make the world go round. No big deal; hardly even a thought given.
After a while, through being in the world as I was, I forgot my own natural rhythms. I was miserable for the very reasons I listed earlier. The timing of my internal clock was off. I was exhausted and looking at every other possible reason other than the truth: I was disregarding my own system.
Not having an alarm clock jolt me awake has been one of the best things about being laid off.
We're empty-nesters. This must be stated. Consistency of schedule hasn't been a thing in our house for six months. People with children at home can not do this.
Allowing your natural schedule to return isn't for the faint of heart.
At first you sleep like the dead. When you finally stop recouping from years of lack of sleep, then you wind up awake when you typically would sleep and fall out when you would normally be awake. You wind up at the grocery store on Monday at 10 pm and on Wednesday at 6 am and you don't even work there. You call family and friends and are made aware how completely upside-down everything about your schedule feels.
Somehow, someway, over the course of a few, or several, or many weeks you find your new normal.
Now when we are awoken instead of awakening naturally, it's to a phone call from one of the kids on their way to work, or the dog wanting to chase the garbage men. Either one is preferable to the assault of an alarm hurrying me to a day of trying to keep up while being off my game from the moment my eyes fly open wildly.
We still keep appointments and honor due dates, but the rest of our timelines run on ISH-ness. Its wonderful.
My personal clock now runs somewhere from between 7-10ish am to midnight-4ish am. Coffee is whenever we get up. Our first meal usually happens between noonish and 3ish. Then again, it may not happen at all. We still adhere to dinner time (usually) but now it varies between 6ish and 11ish depending on the day.
I've come to realize that some of us are not made to fit what the world considers normalcy. Its a freedom that I didn't know existed and I revel in it.
Like Big Papa, I only have one area of true discipline left; to my writing.
And I've learned to become very okay with that.
Friday, September 13, 2024
Friday the 13th... of September
Wednesday, September 11, 2024
A Day of Remembrance
Tuesday, September 10, 2024
Getting Back To It
Saturday, August 17, 2024
I Wrote a Book
I apologize to all of my readers for the delay in posting!
It was for a good reason: I wrote a book.
I know I have a big thing about not monetizing this site. I stick to that, but since this is my own work, I will link to it.
That said, I must share the story of this book.
As I may have mentioned, I've been unemployed since March. After some self-examination, I decided that I was going to change occupations. Bookkeeping became overrun during Covid, and didn't seem to fit anymore.
I built my list. You know, the list, right? The list of things that I wanted from my new profession.
Can I just side note here and say that this was the first time I had ever done this? Build a full list of what I wanted from a job? I mean not just salary and hopefully decent insurance. Gen X people were not taught to make a list, ok? We were taught to be grateful that anyone would hire us and mostly to hope for a commute that wasn't a death sentence for our life outside our 'j.o.b.'. But, in reality, most of us just take whatever satisfies the financial requirements.
Anyway, with my first very specific 'list' in hand, I began to pray.
During my prayers one word kept going through my head, "How"?
I literally had no idea. I'd been in survival mode for so long, I didn't know how I was going to go after what seemed like a pretty big ask list; not with my undocumented skill sets. Definitely not in a new field that would require degrees or portfolios or both.
To satisfy my list, I decided that I needed to go into something in the computer field; so, both. How do I pull this off? I do some research, I decided on a certificate program that looked attractive. I was confident that this was my 'how'.
It was Thursday and I decided to start the next Monday to take advantage of their first seven days free trial offer. I told everyone I knew about my plans over the weekend. I was enthusiastic, they were enthusiastic. I had my game plan.
That Monday morning, with coffee in hand, I kissed MyMan 'goodbye' for the school day and I entered the office ready to dive into learning.
I sat down at my desk with the full intention of opening my browser.
The next thing I know, I have MS Word open...
I don't even know how long I was in the office, but I stumbled out of it with the original rough draft of twelve chapters completed.
Now, I've been writing for years; but never have I ever written twelve chapters in one sitting.
Ever.
Writing a book had been a big lofty goal for many years, but honestly, I didn't think I had it in me. I have more discarded first chapters of the same two books I'd previously tried to write than I have blades of grass on my front lawn.
This book was completely unexpected. From the subject matter to the writing itself; it flowed from me with an ease I could not have imagined on my best day.
Well y'all, the paperback version of my 'unexpected' book dropped on Amazon today.
Kindle (available for pre-order now) and Ebook versions drop on Monday.
I am officially a published author.
I've already been gifted the 'how' of the second book, and the subject matter for the third.
Apparently, writing is my new direction.
Who knew?
God. God knew.
Hallelujah!
Wednesday, July 31, 2024
The Stuff Y'all Call News Is Fascinating
You don't realize what you're surrounded by until you remove yourself from it.
What now seems like a hundred years ago, we stopped getting TV service. We'd had Dish, couldn't afford it, it was turned off, and we never went back. Before service was interrupted, we had four kids in the house and that thing was going at least 16 hours a day.
Shortly after it happened, I realized what it really was; God removing television from our lives. A whole world of research as well as life was opened up when we just stopped watching, as my dad called it, "The Idiot Box". I finally understood his viewpoint. The news has devolved to the point of painful for us now.
Don't fret, if there's news, we find out about it. We haven't cut off the news of the world, but we are really careful about how it is relayed to us.
One of my favorite ways to get a quick rundown of the current events is Yahoo homepage. It's not overwhelming. It doesn't shout at me. It isn't too in depth. I can scan the headlines and go over to stories I'm interested in. It just works for me.
So, I'm over on Yahoo homepage when I come across this article in my feed.
Apparently there is some woman who is known on and from the internet as the 'green dress girl'. And for some reason, USA Today thinks her opinion warrants an article that is showing up near the top of my 'news' feed.
Not for nothing, but the fact that anything to do with fashion shows up in my feed is laughable to anyone who knows me even a little bit. But I digress.
I had no idea how intellectually bankrupt our society had become; that this drivel is considered news by a major, national print outlet.
With everything going on in the world, and call me selfish, my own life, who in the *bleep* has time to give a running rat's tail about some random person's opinion... about anything? Much less calling it news.
This is just about as nonsensical as Snoop carrying the Olympic torch.
Yeah, I said it.
I like Snoop, but he didn't belong at the Olympics. What does the man have to do with sports besides running from the po' po' in his old school G days?
Green dress girl is as news worthy as Snoop is a gifted or exemplary athlete.
I want to know how we got here.
I mean, I understand I'm Gen X and a lot of today's society doesn't make sense to me. Normally because I use logic and common sense, and that approach has mostly gone out of style.
So, I can see the how of how these viewpoints could have come around. Our educational system doesn't teach thinking anymore; it teaches memorization. Because non-thinkers are both easier to control and more cost effective for the people making the rules. Again, I digress.
What I don't understand about this ridiculousness being called a 'news' story, is that when these non-thinking, young adults go out into society and tell more seasoned with life experience people, such as myself and others around my age, why their opinionated selves think this is a 'news' story (or for that matter, anything else, they're *bleepin* kids); how is it that the rest of us out there go along with their uneducated, immature choices?
Who in the *bleep* put these short-sighted people in charge?
It must be the same people who changed A&E's format from Arts and Entertainment (i.e. A&E!) to an unending stream of murder on tap and 'cam' shows. Quite obviously a blatant case of bowing to bottom line over common sense.
James Lipton is rolling over in his grave, believe you me.
I'm sure it's also due in part to the entire machine of 24 hour stations and multiple news outlets. I guess on slow news days, they have to dig deep...?
That doesn't excuse you A&E!
This is some follow-the-money-watch-the-birdie-conspiracy-stuff to be sure!
Should I go all Oliver Stone?
Who is benefitting from our societal decline into idiocy while surrounding us with low vibrational fear?
Too on the nose?
How have women's rights regressed 50 years with women sitting on the Supreme Court?
How is Trump, a now convicted felon, still in the presidential race?
The country has gone bat crap crazy!
Nothing makes sense to those of us who still have the temerity to think!
I'm enraged! The future of our country is at stake!
But, in all honesty, I'm also Gen X. Our hands off philosophy as a generation is part of how we got here. The other part is greed, but again, I digress.
Considering current society, I am more likely to attempt to get a Netflix comedy special to air these viewpoints than I am to seek out office in order to correct the legislation that led to the errant thinking of a television-soaked society of paid-for, programmed lemmings.
That, and I grew up in New Jersey. Which makes me acutely aware that they'd shut me up and I'd be lucky to only be discredited instead of winding up in the East River.
So, I guess, I'll pretend to fall in line with the rest of the lemmings despite my capacity for independent thought by 'just doing me, Boo' as the country implodes from it's poor choices.
If you want or need me, I'll be sitting over here rolling my eyes and saying in my most Gen X New Jersey Sarcastic delivery while I shake my head, "The stuff y'all call news is fascinating." Maybe I should turn it into a meme.
Sunday, July 21, 2024
Dear Taylor Sheridan, RE: YELLOWSTONE
Hello and happy Sunday, Taylor Sheridan,
You don't know me from the man in the moon, but I've been writing my whole life. I just read an article regarding the upcoming series finale to what has become my latest favorite television addiction, the saga of Yellowstone.
The article stated that my addiction has become your fever-dream nightmare, and as reported literally everywhere, is missing your Hollywood heavy.
Other plot holes were also mentioned. I personally overlook those because you, Sir, are the Jackie Collins of TV; and I bow to your prowess as a "hook 'em in and keep em watching" kind of writer. When I stated my addiction earlier, I could not give a more accurate description of my behavior since my first watching of S1, E1 a few months ago.
Yes, a few months ago. Yes I understand that Yellowstone has been out for years.
Nothing personal. We just didn't do TV. We were "The Unplugged". I'm so old school, we used to learn about what movies were out by renting DVDs from the new releases rack at the library. We didn't even have home internet until 6 months ago. We had cellphones with unlimited data plans. Our only streaming service was premium YouTube and that was mostly because the app came preloaded on our phones. I learned everything I needed to know about what was going on in the entertainment industry from Yahoo homepage at work.
Well, in March the business I was working for closed its doors permanently. I'd been there for five years and was now over 50. I had been working for 30 years, and upon prompting from my husband, decided a break was in order. I settled into unemployment, homelife, mental healing, and probable redirection. I had wound up in work life misery and my only 'job' became unplug from the job market, find authentic me, and figure out next steps.
We stopped going to the library and started rotating streaming services by month and eventually, I stumbled across Yellowstone. I had, of course heard of it, and knew the actors and your name, but I had never watched it before. Funnily enough, I had rented season one over a year ago from the library, but returned it unwatched.
But that night in late April, I turned to my husband and said, "Eff it, there's nothing on worth watching. You wanna give Yellowstone a shot? It's got Costner... 10 minutes?"
Ten minutes is about our watch time of anything new. If we don't like it in ten minutes or less, it's pretty well over. My Netflix Continue Watching category is ridiculous.
He didn't look enthusiastic, but said, "Eh sure. Ten minutes"
That was around 9 pm and we had the commercial free version of Peacock that month. 24 consecutive Yellowstone hours later, we had been up for 36 hours. We slept for 8 or so, and went back for another 24 consecutive hours.
My daughter called me, and I quote, "A feral college student." Yellowstone had released the addict in me and I was in full junkie mode.
As of this writing, we're on a maintenance program. Just like an alcoholic might slow down and not get hammered drunk every night, but they still drink enough to get a little tipsy several nights a week; we're the same. My alcohol is Yellowstone. I've signed up for a year's worth of Peacock with ads to slow myself down, and am on my fourth watching of the series. It's on regularly, and we nearly never watch just one episode.
Okay, so, fangirling over.
Let's get down to business. As a writer, I have some helpful ideas as to where you need to go to close your plot holes, and tie up all of the ends in whatever number of shows a half season equates to. By the first half of the season, I'd say eight.
Open S5, E9 on the front lawn of John's house; Beth and Jaime pointing guns at each other and verbally going at it. From Beth's vantage, camera points toward Jaime, have John step in facing Jaime (back to camera) instinctively 'protecting' Beth because he's convinced Jaime won't physically hurt him.
With the camera close-up on Jaime; Jaime focuses on John, we watch flashbacks run across his face, and with a resolve born of inner peace and his own brand of righteousness, Jaime makes a conscious choice. Jaime shoots and kills John.
Immediately, Beth takes Jaime out with every bullet she has, and collapses at her dead Daddy's side in tears of grief and relief.
With that, Gretchen Mol's Evelyn Dutton is returned in flashback/spectral to both welcome John (now played by Josh Lucas) and redeem herself to Beth (and the fans!) by both forgiving Beth and explaining her wretched behavior towards her only daughter. She can even scoff at Jaime about being from 'killer's blood' to remind everyone that Jaime isn't a blood Dutton anyway. That puts to bed multiple storylines, and opens up a wide array of growth and potential in the final storytelling arcs of the remaining characters.
Summer has to 'save' Beth with her eyewitness testimony since she's there under house arrest. The new Governor is named by a mourning Senator Perry when she returns from Washington for John's funeral. The new governor, at Lynelle's urging, pardons Beth for murder of Governor John Dutton's killer, and commutes Summer's remaining sentence. Summer returns to California with a new appreciation for Montana ranching and glad to put a close to her 'Dutton chapter'. The new governor looks into many candidates for AG. Some are sympathetic to ranching, some are not. No replacement is actually named. Lynelle returns to congress.
With her neck freshly off the chopping block, and her biggest adversary in the ground, Beth takes off running. She somehow spins the PR around Jamie's death putting every ugly detail that comes to light about Yellowstone squarely on Jaime's now dead doorstep.
She follows up by convincing Kayce to put her business plan into action regarding the steak operation she found out about; thereby saving the ranch financially. She is at peace with her move as she tells the sky, "I saved the ranch, Daddy." At this point, she stops living for John, and starts living for herself and Rip and the future legacy of Kayce's family.
With the Yellowstone finally out of it's precarious financial situation; Rip and the cowboys can come back to Montana, and Kayce and Monica can take over running the ranch and plan for a future.
Kayce and Monica, at Beth's insistence, move into the main house and are determined to, as earlier stated in a bathtub scene, "put a kid in every room." They wind up happy, in love, and moving forward in a 'new direction'. Kayce also remains Livestock Commissioner because he sees the value of it for the ranch and his ranching neighbors. Monica is able to do something to permanently help the Res in some way now that Yellowstone is under her and Kayce's control.
This will keep Thomas Rainwater in office; defeating the evil Angela and her candidate with the help of Mo. Maybe some 'hidden on the Res' resolution. Additionally, this storyline will give Monica some peace about helping her people with real consequence; as well as giving her character substance so she doesn't just dissolve into the background as Kayce's pregnant wife or Tate's empty-nester mom.
Tate and Carter pal around, get girlfriends and outlay their plans for the future. Tate wants to go into counselling because of his previous trauma, and Carter wants to become a veterinarian because he's bonded with the horses in his time living in the stables and, the biggest factor, it will help the ranch and the family that saved him.
Rip grows very comfortably into his forced fatherhood of Carter and imparts life wisdom into Carter's and Tate's lives. He and Beth have to decide whether to rebuild his burnt down gift-from-John house and stay at the Yellowstone, or demolish the property so it can revert to its indigenous state, while Beth and Rip move on to somewhere with no memories.
In the end, they decide to demolish the property and build a new house on the ranch at the location Rip found for their wedding. Beth loves the compromise; it's still part of the ranch, but its free of memories, completely theirs from the ground up, and they both find peace, joy and healing there while they look forward to the new direction of Yellowstone.
Kayce realizes he needs Rip's loyalty to John's vision to help him run the ranch. Kayce outlines, that he will be the new way of thinking and Rip will be the old way of thinking and between them both, they'll figure out the best course of action for the ranch as the issues arise. With the new business plan in place, they're both starting off as 'new' and will need each other's perspectives to make things work.
Kayce tells Rip this at the dinner table with John's seat empty, and Monica and Beth in attendance. They all agree, in a new-direction-moment, that business will be discussed at the dinner table. Beth doesn't storm away from the table for maybe the first time in the series. Peace reigns within the remaining family against the outside forces.
Jimmy and Emily are now married. They come up from the Four Sixes to bring horses along with the return of the cowboys. When they leave, they will take Carter with them so he can go to vet school, while learning to work in a ranch environment as a veterinarian assistant under Emily.
Jimmy and Lloyd have a reunion. Jimmy has grown into the best version of himself and imparts his Texas learned wisdom to Lloyd. It gives Lloyd an answer he had been searching for, which stuns them both and bonds them together further.
Walker and Laramie of course get married to mirror the actors' real lives. They decide that it would be best if they go on the road so Walker can do singing gigs while Laramie competes across the country. They ask Kayce about leaving before the rest of the cowboys return because Walker doesn't want to be there when Rip comes back. Kayce agrees and approves.
Colby dated a girly-girl in the year the cowboys have been gone. This helped him figure out, that he loves Teeter. She tortures him about his dalliance with 'Miss Priss', until she finally tells him she knew he'd miss her lovin'. The ranch hands tease Colby about his relationship with Teeter and he defends it fully. Afterward, Colby chases Teeter and they both love every minute of it, sometimes to the nausea of the other ranch hands.
Ryan and Abby have maintained their relationship despite his shipping out to Texas. She got gigs in Texas while he was down there to facilitate seeing him, and her career skyrocketed. They now see each other rarely, but make it work. He becomes one of the ranch's top men due to Rip's recommendations after the Texas year, and He and Kayce being livestock agents together.
And last, but not least, there's Lloyd. Lloyd and Gator have become close in the time since Rip left with the cowboys. Lloyd needed to talk to someone who wasn't a 'youngster ranch hand', and with everyone gone all the time, Gator needed someone to appreciate his amazing biscuits. They bonded over coffee and cooking after Gator suggested that he make breakfast for the ranch hands in order to have someone to cook for.
Rip will get to tell Lloyd that he's in charge of the bunkhouse permanently (he ran it while Rip's crew was in Texas). So, Lloyd will be the new Rip and Ryan will be the new Lloyd.
Later, Rip will visit the bunkhouse, to let the hands know that Lloyd is now in charge, Lloyd will quote the imparted Texas wisdom to the other ranch hands. Rip will ask astounded at the soundness of the quote, "Who told you that?" To which Lloyd will answer simply with a smile, "Jimmy". Everyone is stunned into silence until Rip finally says with an even bigger smile at his long time friend, "The man's right." to a round of agreement by all. The scene ends with the hands toasting Jimmy in his absence and Lloyd's promotion. Rip then leaves the bunkhouse and it feels permanent.
Alright, Mr. Sheridan, sir, I think I've got your story lines pretty well handled. Now, if you would just get back to your super-addictive, Jackie Collins style delivery of them, that would be perfect.
With utmost respect and anticipation of November,
Gigi Seezie